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The sole purpose of sex does not need to be experiencing an orgasm, says Astroglide's resident health advisor Angela Jones, MD. Especially the first time you do it.

Think about sex as a way to connect with your partner on a deeper level, via all its emotional and mental benefits. Psychotherapist Nicole Tammelleo says this is especially important the first time you have sex with a new partner.

Talking about sex with a new partner is a must. And don't worry, you don't have to bring up this convo the moment you match with someone on Tinder, but you should bring it up before you take that trip to pound town, says Engle.

Whether it's your first or fiftieth time having sex, the worst thing you can do is go into it with the assumption that you know everything about what your partner wants.

No amount of slumber party gossip about blow jobs and giving massive hickeys can prepare you for what your partner is actually gonna be into.

The only way to find out is to ask them: Do they like oral sex, or would they rather leave that off the menu? Would they rather have the music on or off?

Not only does asking questions show your partner that you care, but it may also encourage them to do the same—making the whole experience better for everyone.

Tammelleo adds that "hundreds of women" have told her that, when they had penetrative sex for the first time, it felt like their partner was "hitting a brick wall.

Lube is an absolute must-have more on that later , but if that doesn't help get things running smoothly, you should consult your doctor or a gynecologist to see if you may have a condition called vaginismus , which makes it really hard for anything to enter the vagina.

If your vagina is burning or itching or feels any sort of bad thing during or after sex, talk to your doctor, especially if the sensation quickly doesn't go away on its own or gets worse over time.

The incorrect, pretty problematic myth that everyone with a vagina bleeds the first time they have penetrative sex is, as is turns out, very much not true!

Yes, some people do bleed the first time , and that bleeding is usually caused by the stretching of your hymen —a thin, delicate piece of tissue located just a couple inches inside the vagina.

But more than 50 percent of people don't bleed their first time, because the hymen can be stretched during regular, non-sex activities like jumping on a trampoline, riding a bike, or running around.

Also, bleeding after sex can happen any time in your life—not just the first time. Once again: lube is your new BFF. No new partner deserves a full report of your sexual history.

Whether you've slept with 50 people or zero, that's your business. I repeat: no one is entitled to your "number.

If you tell someone you've never had sex before and they freak, then they're probably not someone you wanted to be with anyway.

They should take that as their cue to be even more communicative with you. Nothing is more distracting than worrying about STIs and pregnancy during sex.

Don't just go along with something—make sure you're excited about it. If you're genuinely enjoying giving your partner pleasure, they'll notice it, and have more fun, she says.

You can also try to hide in plain sight with lots of other cars around in a big parking lot. Try to avoid parking near buildings or businesses.

Otherwise, make sure to look out for security cameras, and make sure to read any signs that indicate you're not supposed to be there. You don't want to draw the attention of police or security guards!

Keep in mind that many public places are closely monitored at night, when people have less reason to come and go.

If this is your only option, try to do it during the day if you want to avoid suspicion from police, park rangers, and security guards. Talk to mutual friends about other options.

You might be able to arrange for some privacy at a social gathering or the house of someone whose parents are less uptight than yours. Venture into the outdoors.

Remote natural settings like parks and forests are usually good places to get some alone time. Pack a picnic with food, drinks, and blankets, and hike around together in search of secluded spots.

Make sure to pick a place that is safe and private. If you know of a good spot already, feel free to take your romantic liaison there.

Perhaps there is a "make-out point" near your community; maybe you know about an old treehouse in the woods, or a quiet place where no one goes.

Make sure that your partner is up for roughing it. Not everyone is comfortable with the great outdoors. Make your intentions clear beforehand. Look for another indoor space.

Book a cheap motel room, if you can afford it. Take your partner to an unused or low-traffic room at school, at work, or at another community building.

Perhaps you have the key to a storage room at your school or at your work, or maybe you know about a corner in the church basement that no one ever checks.

Try to think outside the box! Be aware of the risks. It is illegal to have sex in many outdoor and public spaces. It is illegal to have sex with a minor younger than age 16, 17, or 18 in the U.

Make sure that you understand the consequences! If you are caught violating these laws, you might be arrested or fined, and legally labeled a sexual predator.

Check the legal age of consent for your state or country. If you live in the U. Many teenage lovers have been branded sexual predators over the years.

This label follows you into adulthood: you have to register as a sex offender whenever you move to a new address, and you may not be allowed to live within a certain radius of a school.

Method 2 of Talk to your partner. You should both be ready to have sex and ready to accept the consequences. Make sure you are both on the same page about all of this.

It might be awkward at first, but you'll need to talk about sex in order to arrange the best way to do it secretly. If you're going to keep your parents from finding out, you need to communicate.

Find a discreet way to talk about these things. If your parents read your text messages, then you shouldn't discuss your plans over text.

If you go to the same school, you can talk there. Consider agreeing on a "code" to refer to sexual things so that you can make plans more openly.

Prepare yourself mentally. Lying may seem easier than telling your parents up front, but pulling it off may take a lot of quick thinking and mental energy.

Think about your options. Sneaking around means plans, alibis, codes, and cover-ups. This comes more naturally to some people than others.

There is no room for error if you are going to do it right. If not, you might as well just tell your parents everything right now!

Agree on an alibi for every encounter. As your parents leave the house for dinner and a movie, tell them you plan to spend your evening doing homework or watching TV.

If you are going to a social gathering that your parents might not approve of, think of a more wholesome activity you could claim to be doing for the night: e.

Use your imagination, but be ready to back up any claims that you make. Be careful what you say. Your parents might know more than you think they do, and you don't want to give them any reason to be suspicious.

Be aware that parents often talk to other parents. Make sure that your story matches the stories of other people who will supposedly be around.

If you say that you're sleeping over at a friend's house, make sure that A your parents won't ask your friend's parents about it, or B your friend's parents will cover for you.

Be discreet. Secrets are best kept on a need-to-know basis — so be careful who you tell. This also means covering your tracks to avoid detection.

Keep the noise down. Explain to your partner why you need to keep quiet. After you learn to do your business swiftly and quietly, you may even be able to get away with it in a house full of people.

Consider sexual activities beyond full intercourse. Mutual masturbation, oral sex, and other non-penetrative sex acts tend to be much easier to hide.

You may find many unexpected opportunities for a quick session when you wouldn't necessarily be able to go all-out. Method 3 of Understand the risks.

Unprotected sex can lead to unwanted pregnancy, various sexually-transmitted infections, general health concerns, and psychological repercussions.

Sex is great, but it's also a great responsibility: to your body, to your partner, to your family, and to your future. Read up on safe sex online to make sure that you're doing everything you can.

DO NOT go without protection for risk of your parents finding out. An unexpected pregnancy or STD is far harder to explain than a box of condoms or pack of pills.

Make sure that you're ready. It's important that you are mentally as well as physically ready to have sex. Sex is a fundamental part of being human, and it can change the way that you see the world.

Be sure that you're doing this for the right reasons. Are you truly ready to have joyful, responsible sex, or are you responding to peer pressure and outside expectations?

Do some soul-searching. Use protection. It is best to combine methods if you want to prevent pregnancy as well as STDs.

You can buy condoms at most drugstores, grocery stores, and convenience stores. Visit Planned Parenthood or another clinic, and they will give you a bag of free condoms.

Girls: ask your doctor about birth control pills and other long-term solutions if you're planning to be sexually active.

It might be embarrassing to talk about this at first, but everybody does it — and it's better to be safe than sorry!

Stash them in your locker or any secure hiding place that is safe from prying eyes. Always keep more condoms than you think you will need, but do not use them after the expiration date stamped on the package.

An STD sexually transmitted disease could pose serious health risks, and it might haunt you throughout your life.

Think about who you're having sex with, and think about who they in turn have had sex with. A huge part of sexual responsibility is communicating with your partner about sexual history.

Visit a gynecologist. All sexually active females should see a gynecologist at least once a year for cancer tests, STD screenings, and birth control.

However, this is an important part of safe sex, and it is well worth your while to set up an appointment. Talk to an adult. If you can't talk to your parents about sex, think about other adults in your life whom you're comfortable approaching with sensitive questions.

Try talking to a doctor, a teacher, a trustworthy family member brother, sister, aunt, uncle, or a counselor.

If you can't think of anyone, visit the nearest Planned Parenthood clinic and make an appointment to speak with a clinician.

Sex is a big responsibility to take on alone, and it might be helpful to get advice from someone more experienced. They're experienced with sex, but they also understand where you're coming from.

Consider their advice before moving forward. Consider telling your parents. They might be more helpful and understanding than you expect. By sneaking around and trying to have sex without your parents knowing, you will always be at risk of getting caught.

Think about whether that's a chance you want to take. If you can explain why you're ready to have sex, they might give you the space to make your own choice.

If so, talk to them. You have nothing to worry about. Not Helpful 69 Helpful My boyfriend came to my house, and we had sex on the floor in my room.

I told him to stop because it hurt , but he didn't.

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